


Five Other Ways Nando and Sergio Meet

by shangrilove



Category: Football RPF, Tennis RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, M/M, Romantic Comedy, these could be a bad romcom script, thin line between football and tennis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-30
Updated: 2012-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-11 02:11:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shangrilove/pseuds/shangrilove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In football. On the way to jail. In a traffic accident. In the morning after. In another sport.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Other Ways Nando and Sergio Meet

**Author's Note:**

> Yay I got an account here! Many thanks to A.X. for putting up with my madness. If you liked any of these and want to turn it into a fic, feel free! Originally posted [here](http://shangrilove.livejournal.com/2352.html#cutid1).

Fernando loves Atlético, and that’s why he also understands why he has to go. He tells the club to make the buyers bleed, his only stipulation was _not Real Madrid._ Two weeks later he’s standing in Camp Nou, wearing unfamiliar stripes of _blaugrana_.

He doesn’t start for a couple of weeks. The team wants to give him time to adjust, plus the bench is a horde of talent so he doesn’t feel too bad. Then _el clásico_ rolls around and even he gets caught up in the excitement. It’s funny, he may have switched clubs, but his biggest rivals will always remain the same.

Both teams walk out of the tunnel stiffly, and Fernando sits on the bench between Puyi (out with a pulled hamstring) and Dani Alves to watch. Casillas, Alonso, Higuain, Ronaldo. He knows them well, except _wait-_

He frowns and makes a gesture, “Who’s the kid with the headband?”

Puyi replies, “You’re the _niño_ with the headband. If you’re asking about the _merengues_ , that’s Sergio Ramos. Signed from Tenerife this summer. They must want to throw the game, starting with a rookie this new.” 

Fernando highly doubts Real are going to risk a _clásico_ with someone less than spectacular. Because no matter how much he hates the other team, he does respect their skill on the pitch. Not everyone gets picked by Real Madrid, especially if they’re from a lonely island in the middle of nowhere.

They’re tied at sixty minutes with one goal each when Andrés is brought down hard. He jumps to his feet enraged, but stays in the technical area as a stretcher is being called. Pep signals him, “Start stretching.”

He does as his mind starts to race. He wants to play against _them_ , but this is _not_ how he expected to debut.

Pep gives him some last minute instructions as the midfielder gets carried into the tunnel. “Remember _tiki taka_. Don’t slip into a natural striker position and you’ll be fine.”

He runs on to the pitch and the game starts again. He plays just as desperately as the last time he was faced with this team. A thousand passes later, he gets an opening right outside the box. He brings his leg back to kick when something collides with him from the side. He slides and tumbles onto another body. _Ramos,_ he identifies the fucker who fouled him.

It takes him two tries to get up as all his teammates are calling for a penalty. The referee shakes his head and gestures for a free kick instead.

He sees Ramos gets congratulated by his teammates and almost wants to start shit. The guy sees Fernando’s enraged face and _winks_ as they line up. 

Fernando curls the ball around the wall and it thuds satisfyingly into the top right corner. He mockingly blows the man a kiss.  
  
  
  
  
2\. the one where Sergio is drunk and naked and Nando is  ~~not~~ impressed

“Sir, I have to ask you to come down from there.” Officer Torres points his flashlight into the tree and tries to look as authoritative as possible.

“But it’s my treeeeeee.”

“Sir, you are in a public park after operational hours, and can be prosecuted for trespassing.” He doesn’t mention the public intoxication charges. It’s difficult to reason with someone you can’t see.

“Treeeeeeee is my friend.“ The voice above drawls out. “She doesn’t mind I’m hanging out in her.”

Protocol would dictate patching the Fire Department to remove the individual so he can be arrested and processed. Fernando thinks about the ribbing he’d get if he had to rely on the fire department to get a drunk guy out of a tree. He’d be stuck in Complaints or Traffic Violations forever. 

“She’s probably tired.” Fernando tries to _reason_ with the man in the tree. “If you come down, I’ll introduce you to more tree friends.” He can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.

The leaves rustle for a bit before a man jumps down. A naked and very well-proportioned man. Only the first bit will make it into his report later.

“Why _hello_ there officer.” The naked man steps towards Fernando. He suddenly forgets that he’s highly trained in three types of martial arts _and_ carries a gun. The naked man runs a hand down his uniform. “You can call me, _Gitano_.”  
  
  
  
  
3\. the one with most potential for nurse!Sergio

_ “Shit, motherfucking sh-“.  _ Sergio swears as the minivan behind him almost cuts him off. He pushes down on the gas and tries to outdrive the angry honking.

He’s hitting eighty kilometers an hour on a city street and breezes through the yellow light, now red. Only nine blocks left and four minutes left before his sister walks down the aisle and it’ll take him at least a minute to park once he arrives. The streetcar lane next to him is empty for at least three blocks. He weighs the consequences of arriving late (and his mother screaming at him) with the likelihood of getting pulled over with a huge traffic fine and decides _fuck it_ before swinging his car over.

It’s like one of those stupid stickers they put on the side mirrors. _Objects may seem closer than they appear_ except it is _pedestrians may seem invisible until you hit them_. There is a man holding a little girl, then the man meets car and the child is screaming.

He only clipped the guy with the edge of his car and he was already decelerating, that’s what he tells himself. 

“Holy fuck.” He rushes out of his car. He’s hit a man, who was probably trying to protect the kid. They are already attracting a crowd.

The man is crumbled on the ground. No blood, that’s a good sign right? Sergio reaches out a tentative hand. “Hey, you alright?” He’s not sure if he should flip him over.

Someone on the street runs over and starts checking for pulse. An elderly lady has the little girl and turned her away from the scene. Sergio backs off a bit since people clearly more qualified are helping the man. 

He’s considering only being five minutes late to his sister’s wedding when the man moves and rasps out “Nora?” His eyes unfocusedly meet Sergio’s. “Daughter. Where Nora?”

Sirens are getting louder in the background. That’s when it hits Sergio. He probably won’t be making it to the wedding; and he’s got more than just a traffic ticket to deal with.  
  
  
  
  
4\. the cliché romantic comedy meet-cute

Sergio met the guy at a club. He was hands down the most gorgeous person there and looked like he knew it too. They grinded against each other for all of ten minutes before they relocated to the bathroom where the blonde (with brown roots showing through) sucked him off, his back against the suspiciously stained wall. 

They cabbed to the other man’s apartment. They spent all night fucking and Sergio should be tired, but he always wakes up at seven in the morning; especially after nights like that. He’s learnt the hard way that it’s much easier to leave than to kick someone out. He thinks about leaving a note, the sex was rather good.

He goes searching for his other shoe in the living room when he looks up, and sees the guy drinking coffee over the breakfast bar. 

“How you- I… bed… shoe,” he half-mumbles unintelligently. He only had three shots last night, and never gets hangovers, so why is his brain not working now?

The man smirks. He looks hotter in the morning, with the sunlight bouncing off his freckles. “Ah, I see you’ve met my twin. I’m Fernando.” He nods in the direction of the bedrooms. “The one you fucked is Juanfran.” He adds helpfully.  
  
  
  
  
5\. the one where Nando is actually Rafael Nadal

Technically they were both at the 2004 Olympics. Spain’s football team was knocked out by Cŏte D’Ivoire in the second game. Fernando Torres stayed for another week before he lost on tie-breakers to Roger Federer and got the Silver medal in men’s tennis (hard court).

There was also the 2007 recognition gala hosted by the Ministry for Culture and Sports. Sergio came with the team and left right after food was served; there were enough (more distinguished) players on the team not to be missed. Torres was late because there were turtles, _turtles_ on the single runway of Mallorca airport.

By the time 2012 had rolled around, they’ve both attended over a dozen of the same events but still have never met. 

Sergio thinks there is a conspiracy somewhere. It’s not like he’s avoiding the other man, in fact, it’s quite the opposite. He’s always had a certain admiration for athletes. And he’s been quite a fan of the man, following his career from his first Grand Slam debut and eventual rise to the number one ranked tennis players in the world.  

Sadly, all the Grand Slams coincide perfectly with football season. The one year he got injured and ended up with tickets to the French Open, Torres had to retire from that tournament due to tendonitis in his knees. Australia and the States were too far to travel for a tennis match. He should’ve picked Wimbledon, after all they call him _King of Grass_ for a reason.

It probably doesn’t help that Torres has declared himself quite a _Barcelona_ fan, going to their games when he’s in Spain. Sergio’s pretty sure the man has never been to a _clásico_ though, they would’ve definitely announced it if someone as famous as Fernando Torres was in the stands.

Which is why he is left speechless walking out of the Bernabeu after practice, and smacks into Fernando Torres.

“Ah sorry.” The man’s smile is even more alluring in real life. “I wasn’t watching.”

Sergio suddenly finds the ground very interesting. “Ah, no. My fault.” He eagerly picks up the tennis bag that got knocked down.

“Ramos right? Spain’s number fifteen.”

He jerks his head up. He thinks he may be blushing, that or the temperature just shot up twenty degrees. “Yeah…” he stammers. “Do you watch football?” Then he remembers, of course Torres watches football. _Culé_. “You should watch Real Madrid!” he bursts out. He wants to tackle himself silent.

Fernando laughs, the freckles more pronounced under the bright stadium lights. “Maybe I will now. The Bernabéu is a nice stadium and you have a good team.”

“You are here because…?” Sergio asks.

“I’m hosting an exhibition here with Novak Djokovic, for my foundation.” He grins, and Sergio sees stars. “Real Madrid is very generous, no? Letting us use it for free.”

“Yeah,” he stammers. “Real Madrid always supports good causes.”

“You should come!” the older man invites him excitedly.

Like he’d ever turn him down. “Yeah.” Sergio gulps. “I’ll definitely be there.”  


**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I’ve always wondered what would have happened if Barcelona ended up buying Nando. He would’ve stayed in Spain and the chances to crush his rivals. Though I don’t think he would’ve fit into Barça’s system too well. Of course I took liberties, like the fact that Sergio pops out of nowhere and hasn’t been called up to the senior team. Sergio is a rough player. He got a red card in 2006 during a game when he punched Nando  _twice_ in the [face](http://fuckyeahsernando.tumblr.com/post/27397453818/thopix-october-1-2006-in-the-match-between). And then in 2007 with the National team, he did a [rough tackle](http://fuckyeahsernando.tumblr.com/post/27545726884/thopix-may-30-2007-in-a-training-session-with) on Nando who ended up twisting an ankle and had to leave training. That's some tough love...
> 
> 2\. Sergio [drinks](http://headbandsandheartbreak.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/tumblr_m7cs7q3jpb1qef1u8o1_500.png?w=490&h=376) [a](http://headbandsandheartbreak.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/ayhoxuucqaeb8hz.jpg?w=490&h=365) [lot](http://headbandsandheartbreak.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/sr.jpg?w=490&h=653). Sergio also posts pictures of himself drunk and wearing [questionable outfits](http://headbandsandheartbreak.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/ayco5c6caaa8vys.jpg?w=490&h=367). Officer Nando has the perfect [bitch](http://www.kickette.com/images/uploads/JULY24NANDO_thumb.JPG) [face ](http://www.kickette.com/files/2010/03/Fernando-Torres-Flashback-500x365.jpg)for issuing traffic tickets.
> 
> 3\. Sergio drives his [Audi A3](http://conlaroja.wordpress.com/2010/06/27/the-marca-interview-sergio-ramos/) like it’s a Ferrari. I don’t know why, but I just have this picture of a self-centered guy who doesn’t realize how actions have consequences. If that makes any sense. Plus I wanted to throw Nora in there.
> 
> 4\. On the National team, number five is [Juanfran](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juan_Francisco_Torres), but his actual name is Juan Francisco Torres. They didn’t want to print “5 Torres” because it would confuse people on and off the pitch and create so many more problems. Also Juanfran plays for Atlético, which is Nando’s old team. I wonder if they ever call out for Torres and Juanfran thinks they’re calling for him.
> 
> 5\. THIS ONE IS MY FAVOURITE. Why? Let me count the ways. Sergio being a secret fanboy. [Nando as Rafa](http://fuckyeahsernando.tumblr.com/post/26762852328), charming the world through his tennis. _King of grass!_ Nando as a _culé._ Sergio liking a _culé_. Oh god, I’m fangirling my own fic. Kill me now.


End file.
